


[Fanmix] Home

by janetcarter



Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: 24 songs, Character Death, Fanmix, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27021898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: A fanmix exploring the journey of Balthamos and Baruch's relationship, mainly from Balthamos' POV. Begins at Balthamos finding Baruch while still managing his trauma, and ends on a note that can be hopeful if you want it to be.
Relationships: Balthamos/Baruch
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1
Collections: Fic In A Box





	[Fanmix] Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DownToTheSea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownToTheSea/gifts).



> I have included snippets of the lyrics to demonstrate why I chose each song, which is allowed according to the AO3 rules because I only used pieces and they all work together to create one new work. I'd prefer to let people interpret however they end up doing so, but if anyone has questions on the timeline or why each song is here, I'm more than happy to give some elaboration in the comments.
> 
> If you want things to end on a hopeful note, listen to the end. If not, probably make Rainbow Connection the last song.

[ **Fanmix Link** ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLYwg1zYW4p1HbrYCQYRFKYcCpPP26ZHa)

**_Venus_ by Sleeping at Last | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-venus-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

The night sky once ruled my imagination

Now I turn the dials with careful calculation

After a while, I thought I'd never find you

I convinced myself that I would never find you

When suddenly I saw you

-

I was a billion little pieces

'Til you pulled me into focus

Astronomy in reverse

It was me who was discovered

**_Dark Star_ by James Young (Stripped) | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Jaymes-young-dark-star-lyrics)**

I've looked a long time to find you

I drifted through the universe just to lay beside you

Anywhere you want me to take you I'll go

But there's things about me that you just don't know

**_Trauma_ by Nathan Wagner | [Lyrics](https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Nathan-Wagner/Trauma) **

All I ever wanted was to be loved by somebody

But the man I used to be is so far gone

Circling through memories, all this trauma gets me trembling

No I can't let you in, it's been too long

The man I used to be is dead and gone

**_Achilles Come Down_ by Gang of Youths | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Gang-of-youths-achilles-come-down-lyrics) **

**[Warning: the song centers around a suicide attempt]**

Hear those bells ring deep in the soul 

Chiming away for a moment 

Feel your breath course frankly below 

And see life as a worthy opponent

Today of all days, see 

How the most dangerous thing is to love 

How you will heal and you’ll rise above 

Crowned by an overture bold and beyond 

Ah, it’s more courageous to overcome

**_Hope_ by Nathan Wagner | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Nathan-wagner-hope-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

When chaos was the only thing I'd see

You gave me peace

When I knew the world wasn't meant for me

You rescued me

And this boulder’s heavy

But you take the load

And these storms gone crazy

But you take the blows

And I can't offer nothing

Still you won't let go

You take this broken man of stone

And make him whole

**_Pluto_ by Sleeping at Last | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-pluto-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

Still I'm pinned under the weight

Of what I believed would keep me safe

Show me where my armor ends

Show me where my skin begins

**_By My Side_ by The Paper Kites | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/The-paper-kites-by-my-side-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

I’ve got a love, I’ve got a love for you 

I’ve got a place in this old heart for you 

And I want to tell you that I want you 

**_Home to You_ by Sigrid | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Sigrid-home-to-you-lyrics) **

When I need a hand to hold

Someone to tell the truth

Would it be okay if I came home to you?

**_Sit Down Beside Me_ by Patrick Wilson | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Patrick-watson-sit-down-beside-me-lyrics)**

Sit down beside me and stay a while

Till the night runs away

Till the morning rises and we part our ways

Till the end of our days

**_Hold On_ by Chord Overstreet | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Chord-overstreet-hold-on-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

**[Warning: This song details a suicide attempt,** **but I included it** **to**

**represent Baruch’s human death, likely of natural causes or due to him self sacrificing,**

**and Balthamos not knowing** **if he would be able to make him into an angel.]**

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

Let me take your hand, I'll make it right

I swear to love you all my life

Hold on, I still need you

**_Handmade Heaven_ by Marina Diamandis | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Marina-handmade-heaven-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

But in this handmade heaven, I come alive

Bluebirds forever color the sky

In this handmade heaven, we forget the time

'Cause birds of a feather fly together

**_Home_ by Dotan | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/20578836%20%C2%A0) **

The sound of the wind is whispering in your ear

Can you feel it coming back?

Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running 'til we're there

We're coming home now, we're coming home now

**_Dear Fellow Traveler_ by Seawolf | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Sea-wolf-dear-fellow-traveler-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

You spoke my language and touched my limbs

It wasn't difficult for you to pull me from myself again

And in our travels, we found our roads

You held it like a mirror, showing me the life I chose 

**_Forever_ by Taska Black | [Lyrics ](https://genius.com/Taska-black-forever-lyrics)**

Cause I have waited forever

Forever, forever, forever, for this

So many coins that I threw into the abyss

I have waited forever

Forever, forever, forever, for this

**_Safe_ by Banners (Acoustic) | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Banners-safe-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

Coping collapsing the world tumbles down around us

This hoping and floating is grinding us down to stardust

When It gets heavy I know you get doubts

But I'll be right here when the sky falls down

I've been thinking myself to death

You're calling me home like a ship that got wrecked

I know there's always a place for you and I

A place where every word that you say, can save my life

**_Lullaby Love_ by Roo Panes | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Roo-panes-lullaby-love-lyrics%20%C2%A0) **

'Cause when I'm seeing double,

It's your lullaby love that keeps me from trouble,

It's your lullaby love that's keeping me level,

It's your lullaby love that keeps me awake.

When this voice retires from talking,

When these ears are tired of ringing.

When my feet get bored of travelling,

And it looks like it's all unravelling.

When this heart's too old for dreaming,

That's when I hear the angels sing your lullaby.

**_Meet Me on The Battlefield_ by Svrcina | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Svrcina-meet-me-on-the-battlefield-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

Meet me on the battlefield

Even on the darkest night

I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage

And you will be mine

Echoes and the shots ring out

We may be the first to fall

Everything can stay the same, or we could change it all

Meet me on the battlefield

**_Silhouette_ by Aquilo | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Aquilo-silhouette-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

Let's go out in flames so everyone knows who we are 

'Cause these city walls never knew that we'd make it this far

We've become echoes, but echoes are fading away 

So let's dance like two shadows, burning out a glory day

**_Shelter_ by Machineheart | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Machineheart-shelter-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

Let my eyes be the rhythm

Let my mind be your freedom

Let my heart be your shelter

Let these bones be the giver

Let this soul be your whisper

Let my heart be your shelter

**_My Love_ by Sia | ** [**Lyrics** ](https://genius.com/Sia-my-love-lyrics%20%C2%A0)

You gave it all

You gave into the call

You took a chance and

You took a fall for us

You gave thoughtfully, loved me faithfully

You taught me honor, you did it for me

Tonight you will sleep for good

You will wait for me my love

**_Veins_ by Nathan Wagner | [Lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Xho2ZBwGaY%20%C2%A0) **

I see you on the shore

But you can’t hear me anymore 

I’m drowning in the undertow

Millstone on my neck

Darkness does its’ best

To pull me down this endless hole

**_So Far_ by Olafur Arnalds | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Olafur-arnalds-so-far-lyrics%20%C2%A0)**

So far from being free

Of the past that's haunting me

The future I just can't touch

And if you take my hand

Please pull me from the dark

And show me hope again

_Rainbow Connection_ by Sleeping at Last | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-rainbow-connection-lyrics%C2%A0)

Is this the sweet sound

To call the young sailors?

The voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times to ignore it

It's something that I'm s'posed to be...

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers, and me

**_Find My Way Back_ by Eric Arjes | [Lyrics](https://genius.com/Eric-arjes-find-my-way-back-lyrics)**

'Cause even underneath the waves

I'll be holding on to you

And even if you slip away

I'll be there to fall into the dark

To chase your heart

No distance could ever tear us apart

There's nothing that I wouldn't do

I'll find my way back to you


End file.
